So my 15 year old son has become obsessed with Instagram over the past few months. Spends literally hours on it daily. Last week his school counselor called saying he's been skipping classes and his behavior changed dramatically. When we confronted him he denied everything but I know something's going on through that app. The whole disappearing messages thing makes it impossible to know what he's involved in. Does anybody have experience with tools or methods to see someone's Instagram messages? Not trying to be overbearing but clearly the trust based approach isn't working anymore. Would really value some guidance from other parents who've dealt with similar situations.

I totally get where you’re coming from. A friend of mine went through something similar—her 14-year-old started disappearing into Instagram, skipping school, and getting secretive. At first, they tried the “just talk” approach, but it didn’t work. What helped was understanding the limits of disappearing messages and having a clear way to monitor for safety. This guide really opened our eyes: how to see someone's dms on instagram . It’s not about spying—it’s about making sure your kid is safe until trust can be rebuilt.

I’ve been there, and trying to secretly read messages usually makes things worse and can break trust even more. A better start is using Instagram’s own Family Center, setting screen‑time limits on his phone, and having calm, regular check‑ins with the school counselor. Some parents also use simple guides like Yolk fast to quickly understand social apps and set healthy boundaries, but the real fix comes from open talks and support, not spying.